Creative conflict resolution in marriage by fathers helps kids: Study

Conflict is inevitable in marriage. When it erupts in families with children, anxious or angry parents may take out their pain on the children, project their anger, or withdraw emotionally or physically. In the worst case, the socio-emotional development of children can be affected. However, how parents, especially men, deal with marital disputes can have an impact on their children, according to a recent study by researchers at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.

“In the past, marital conflict has always been considered a negative thing in terms of various aspects of child development. But more important than having conflict is how people deal with it. Our study looked at whether constructive conflict resolution could buffer some negative impact of marital conflict on parenting practices,” said lead author Qijie Gong, a doctoral student

Department of Human Development and Family Studies (HDFS) in the College of Agricultural, Consumer and Environmental Sciences at Illinois. Some studies have shown that father-child relationships may be more affected by conflict than mother-child relationships, and this may lead to negative development of children. That’s why the authors chose to focus on fathers in their study.

“We wanted to focus more on fathers because mothers have always been considered the main caregivers, but fathers can also significantly influence children’s development,” Gong said. The authors, including HDFS professors Karen Kramer and Kelly Tu, used a longitudinal dataset from the US Department of Education tracing children’s experiences from 9 months to kindergarten. Recognizing the importance of the preschool years for learning social-emotional skills, they analyzed a subset of data for families with 4-year-old children and controlled for mothers’ parenting styles, marital conflict, and survey questions. Pay attention to the father’s reactions. Resolution Strategies. Building the links in a chain, they linked fathers’ reports of conflict to their parenting practices, then to the socio-emotional effects of those practices on the children.

“Beyond looking at mothers, fathers, and conflict separately, as previous studies have done, we put it all together in one model, not only to look at the family as an interconnected system but not to forget the father.” For: How their perceptions of conflict and approaches to resolution affect a child’s social-emotional development,” Kramer said. “That’s the uniqueness of this study.”

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Analyzing a diverse sample of 3,955 heterosexual families with resident fathers, the authors found that when fathers reported more frequent marital conflict, it increased their parenting stress and decreased their warmth toward their child. Went. Those factors reduced the child’s social-emotional skills as reported by the mothers in the surveys, according to the analysis.

Gong emphasizes that preschool-age children are at a critical stage for developing social-emotional skills. She says these early experiences set the stage for later peer relationships, mental health, and more, so parents of young children should consider how their interactions may extend to their children. Next, Gong reflected on how the fathers resolved the conflict. “We found fathers who reported using more constructive conflict resolution — such as open communication and reaching compromises, as opposed to hitting, criticizing or throwing things — were more involved and involved toward their children than their counterparts. Showed warmth,” she said.

It is no wonder that the children benefited from these warm conversations with their fathers. “Fathers using constructive conflict resolution led to more parent involvement, which led to more positive child development,” Kramer said. “Destructive conflict has an adverse effect on children.”

Finally, Gong says that parents should not shy away from conflict. Instead, it is more important to find constructive resolution strategies that reduce stress and maintain the father’s ability to interact warmly with his children. Gong said, “If only we could have more clinical or educational programs that teach parents how to communicate openly with each other, listen to each other, and maintain good relationships with family members.” taught, it can be effective in promoting healthy families and child development.” Said. “It is important to consider not only the quantity of parenting but also the quality of parenting. Even if the father has a lot of involvement, if his warmth is too low, it may not be beneficial to the child.”

Kramer says that although the study focused specifically on married couples, fathers in other family arrangements can still learn from the study. “These lessons don’t only apply to married couples. In fact, I would say they’re even more important when you’re not living together, or you’re separated or divorced,” she said. “In those cases you may have even more conflict, so the process of resolving it may be even more important to the child’s development.”